The Driving Seat
Paul Murphy reflects on taking control of your life…
Fool that I am, it took me about 25 years to figure this one out.
To be fair, they were the first 25 years of my life. And to be fairer still, if nobody tells you, how the hell are you going to know?
What am I talking about?
Put simply, it took me that long a time to figure out that I was in charge.
I wasn’t in charge of much, not the country, a big company, or an army battalion – nothing like that. But, I was in charge of little old me, and my life. I was the one who was going to live it, for good or bad, and I was the one who needed to decide how it would go.
Looking back I must’ve thought (like too many do) that there was going to be a ‘moment’ – something substantial, where an outside intervention was going to kick my life in the direction of success, fame and fortune. Truth was, as just another spotty kid from Bootle, I didn’t know much about the big wide world outside Merseyside. Frankly, there wasn’t anyone to tell me about it. My horizons stretched about as far as Anfield and a trip to Rhyl in the summer. Yet, I had the feeling like I was destined to travel the world and live a bigger life. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t say ‘better’, I said ‘bigger’. There’s nothing wrong with spending your whole life in Bootle. It’s a noble aspiration if that’s what you want. But I didn’t. That wasn’t for me.
But there was a problem. Idiot that I was, I hadn’t figured out that I was the driver. Not someone outside. It was me. If my life was going to change, then I was the one who’d need to do something about it. No Fairy Godmother, or Genie of the Lamp was going to change my life.
I was.
Yes, I know that it’s bloody obvious. But, at the time, it wasn’t for me. You do what you know. You act like the people around you and I’d never been surrounded by people actively driving their lives. People I knew just seemed to be moved from one situation to another on the flotsam and jetsam of life. So, I thought that was how it was done, until some massive outside change, changed you – like winning the lottery.
Then, one day, the penny dropped. If I was going to have agency in life, I needed to introduce it myself. If I was ever going to achieve anything, then it was me that was going to make it happen.
You know what?
That realization was both a cause of great relief and panic all at once. I suddenly knew what to do. I had to start knocking on the doors that I wanted to open for me. But the panic was that I couldn’t get away from the fact that whatever happened, the outcomes of my actions would all lie at my feet. If I didn’t succeed, it would be nobody’s fault but my own.
Have you found the freedom that comes with realising that if you’re going to get anywhere in life, you’re going to have to drive the car? There ain’t no chauffeur waiting in the wings!
If you’d like to discuss Success, why not get in touch?
All of this stuff is outlined in my book, We NEED to talk about Success, which is out soon.
Murph
